Marking this as 2.0 Canon, as that feels right. At some point, I am going to go back through the archives of the Facebook page, and may be able to put a better date to them, but for now, 2.0. This was when "texts from"-style posts were really popular, so we did a few.
Stef: If I ever date, I would demand they bring me a dragon. Like, a living one, not a dead one. Why would you kill a dragon, you monster????
Ryan: You’re not keeping a dragon in your office, sweetheart.
Stef: Dad?
Ryan: No.
Stef: You don’t even know what I’m going to ask for…
Ryan: Was it something I would disapprove of?
Stef: Fine…
Parkers: We need a kidney. We don’t care where it comes from.
Taylor:
Mags: Sir?
Taylor:
Mags: Yes, sir, coming, sir.
Jones: There’s no such thing as vampires. Really. I promise. You don’t have to wear garlic around your neck.
Jones: No, you can’t claim Chris Hemsworth is a witness and put him in protective custody. Don’t make me turn this into an order.
Jones: Let me put this plainly.
Jones: OPERATION KIDNAP THOR IS A NO GO
Jones: Recruits, if someone asks if you’re a god…
Jones: They’re probably quoting Ghostbusters.
Jones: But always say yes.
Jones: You should always feel like you’re a god.
Jones: <3
Jones: Cupid isn’t real. If you see a little fucker flying around and firing arrows, call Combat FFS!
Jones: Air traffic regulations aren’t a joke. Stop making UFO drones. There are three days a year when we can fuck about like that, today isn’t one of them.
Jones: Time travel, unlike Cupid, is real. If you find someone out of their time, let me question them. I have a program I can run so I can extract the most pertinent information from them in the least amount of time.
Jones: Please stop suggesting that Director Ryan and Agent Taylor hatefuck each other behind closed doors.
Jones: Keep that shit to the fanfic archive.
Jones: Please stop suggesting that Agent Taylor is responsible for- Well. Anything. Do not antagonise Combat. Do I really need to tell you the story of Agent Mickey again?
Jones: Or show you the footage?
Jones: Or the medical records?
Jones: “Poke Agent Taylor with a 10ft pole” is not a game we play here.
Jones: Poking dragons is safer!
Stef: I found out how to painlessly detach my limbs!
Stef: ...can someone help me find my right arm?
Jones: Just because I’m made of nanites doesn’t mean I’m Photoshopped.
Jones: You aren’t allowed to play with my hair and state that you can see the pixels.
Jones: Ignore the strange sounds coming from Lab 3.
Jones: See nothing. Say nothing. Drink to forget.
